Going back to work after having a baby was one of the toughest moments of my life, maybe the toughest outside of having my miscarriage.
I cried for two weeks straight leading up to returning and not just normal crying. The ugly kind; the snot running down your face coming from the deepest part of you type of crying. It was only a few months ago, but I just remember feeling like a part of me was about to die as I held my baby and rocked him as I wept uncontrollably. I was so bitter at the world, at my husband, at myself for not being able to afford to be able to stay at home with the baby. I wanted to stay at home with him more than anything, but my student loans were far too high for my husband to take on. We already relied on my husband's income to pay the mortgage, electricity, gas, the internet, and his student loans. It wasn't fair to put even more stress on him and expect him to cover part of my loans which come to $800 a month. There was already so much stress about having to leave my son, it was hard to think about what I needed to do to prep myself for shifting to this new routine and change. Going back to work would now be different, I had to think about what it would take to be a career mom, but also getting the baby ready for his day ahead as well. In the end, everything worked out really well the way I approached going back to work. I hope some of these strategies might help you transition back into this new change, not only in your personal/ family life, but also in your career life as well.
Here is my list of tips on how to make the transition easier:
Have Your Spouse or Family Watch The Baby The First Week. I am a realist. I know that this is a privilege, and it might not apply or be an option for all households. However, if it is possible for your situation, this probably the one thing that will make it the easiest to go back to work. My husband took the first week off as I went back to work. Knowing he was at home with dad and not a stranger was a huge relief. My maternity leave only allowed me to stay out for 6 weeks contractually. My husband helped get me through the school day by sending photos and short videos of Jack. This made it so much easier getting to "see" him throughout my day. Our family was incredible and they also chipped in and took turns watching Jack for the next few weeks. As a result of this, Jack was able to stay out of daycare until he was 12 weeks and build up his immune system more. Treat Yo'Self Go out and get your hair, nails, or even a facial done. You are exhausted and you need to have a little bit of rejuvenation. As easy as it is to put ourselves last, it is so important to still take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Buy Yourself a New Outfit Going back to work is hard enough and your old clothes might not fit. I was able to fit back into my pants fine, but my breast size was still much larger because I was breastfeeding. Having a few new outfits or even a few new shirts makes you feel good about yourself and can give you a little encouragement.
Get Yourself a Freemie Pump
I talked about this pump in my past blogs. When picking out your pump, I highly recommend getting this pump. It allows you to pump on the go, in public, or even at social gatherings discreetly. If you are a teacher, it is extremely important to buy this if feeding your baby breastmilk is a high priority. Legally, employers have to provide you time to pump for usually 30 minutes in New York State. In my case, the school gave me that time during my planning periods. Many of my coworkers told me stories of how getting to the nurse's office to pump, getting set up, pumping, and cleaning up was impossible to do within the 30 minutes. As a result, their supply began to dwindle, and they couldn't keep up with providing their baby with breastmilk. I honestly believe the only reason I am still pumping out large quantities and keeping up my supply up for the past 5 months is because of this pump. I am able to pump during class discreetly on my schedule. I put the pump on before my students arrive and take it off as soon as they leave. This allows me to pump on my schedule and if I need extra time, it is no big deal because I can still do my job. This pump allows me to get up and move around the classroom and doesn't limit or take away from teaching and getting things done during my prep time. Pro-Tip: If you do decided to go with amazing pump. Be sure to buy extra duck bill valves and connector pieces. The ONLY problem with this brand is that you cannot walk into a Target or Walmart and snag a replacement part if you need one. I have lost two pieces so far and having to wait for new ones to ship was frustrating. I now have back up replacement parts for when I lose another part or just need to replace it in general. Buy Kinde Storage Bags I am a big fan of this style of breastmilk bags. I have had other brands leak and it's so frustrating. I love that these breastmilk bags have twist caps like a water bottle. Keep A Stash of Bags in Your Car I sometimes forget to grab more breastmilk bags from home, or I thought I had more bags than I did at work. I have run out of bags at work and this has happened to me more than once. Having an emergency stash in your car is great just for your own peace of mind and it sure comes in handy when you do run out. I would cry if I ever had to pump and dump. Buy a Milk Cooler Bag If you do not have one of these already, I highly recommend these to transport your milk from work. My work commute time is over an hour-long from school. I need to make sure that milk stays cold until I get home. Side-note: It is really hard to get an art teacher job, if you are wondering, it is my goal to get a job closer to home. Bring an Extra Pair of Clothes: Spills and leaks are bound to happen. One time, I didn't squat to pick something up, I bent over while pumping and got breastmilk all over me! GAH!!! I think I was more upset about losing the milk than anything. Bring a neutral top and a neutral pair of pants. I chose black pants and a black top that way it will go with whatever I am wearing.
Buy a Utility Tote Bag
As a teacher, I usually bring my teaching bag/purse, a lunch bag, and my laptop to and from work every day. Now I had to add my pump bag and my breastmilk cooler bag. I was going to look like the crazy bag lady! I went onto Amazon to buy a utility tote. I didn't want to spend a ton of money on one and got the cheapest one I could find. It is no Thirty-One tote quality-wise, but for $15 I couldn't really complain. It gets the job done and I can put all of the bags into one bag. Buy a Water Tumbler Hydration is key for pumping and keeping your supply up. I hate drinking water. I have to force myself to do it unless I am working out. Having a cute tumbler with photos of your sweet baby all over it helps to remind you to stay hydrated and who doesn't love looking at their baby all day? After each pumping session, I fill up the tumbler and chug the whole thing down because if I don't, I will forget and not do it. Record Baby Crying This was a suggestion I was given when I was going back to work. Sometimes when our brains hear the baby cry, it kicks in the hormones and triggers our bodies to start producing milk. I used this in the beginning but realized that I didn't need it all the time. Buy Breast Shell If you are pumping, you will want to have these breast shells. They are a lifesaver. Pumping can leave your girls feeling sore and then having them rub up against your bra can be really painful at times. These give your breasts a little bit of relief by creating a barrier to keep your nipples from rubbing up against the bra. Set a Series of Alarms If you are a pumping mama, you can easily get so focused on your work that you may forget to pump. I pump every 3 hours to mimic how often Jack needs to eat. Even though I know when I need to pump again, the time can often get away from me. Having that backup reminder is such a huge help. You may eventually only need one or two alarms.
Have Lunch or Dinner With a Co-Worker Friend
This was one of the most helpful aspects of prepping myself to return to work. My teacher friends had a "happy hour" and met up at an ice cream parlor after work. I joined them and brought Jack with me. It was a lot of fun and there were lots of laughs. It helped me remember how fun my co-workers were and made me realize I did miss interacting with them on a daily basis. Do a Practice Run Leaving your baby for the first time is so hard regardless of what you are doing. Sign up and volunteer somewhere for a few hours or even take it slow and go in for half a day once a week. This will make that sting of having to leave not be so intense. On top of being a mom, a teacher and a blogger, I also have a sip and paint side business called Vino & Vernici. This is how I eased into going back to teaching at school. I first started doing a few paint parties again. I cried on the drive to the first paint party after having Jack, but once I got there, I was fine. The best part about working or volunteering was coming home. Coming home had never been so exciting before, I almost had an adrenaline rush. Let's just say I was a little heavy on the gas pedal that day. Try to Remember Your Why This is easier said than done, but if you can find one it does help. I had two "why" reasons. The first was my student loans. I told myself that if I went back to work, I could pay off my student loans faster. My hope was I could be a stay at home mom for baby number 2. The second reason was we knew before Jack was born, that Jack potentially had a mild kidney concern. My health insurance isn't the worst, but it isn't the best either. The copay of the ultrasounds can cost a few hundred dollars each time he had to have it done. Having this motivation for making sure I could provide him with these necessary procedures helped make it a little easier for returning to work.
Cry It Out
Do not bottle those emotions girl. This is not easy and that emotional release can really help. It is totally normal and lots of moms need to have a good cry. No one is judging. It only shows how much you care and love that sweet little babe. Write Down Your Feelings Maybe you need a different outlet to get everything out. I find that writing about how I am feeling helps remove those awful feelings; hence the blog. I wrote an entire blog post about my feelings on returning back to work and how it felt eerily similar to the feelings I felt after my miscarriage. Remember It Gets Better I heard this over and over again. I didn't want to hear it at first because I was so bitter and mad about having to go back to work. It took a long time for me to really be okay with it. I was able to get through the week and be okay with working, but once the weekend came, it reminded me of what I was missing and it unraveled all of the progress I had made throughout the week. Honestly, it took me about a month to really get back into the swing of things and for me to enjoy my job as much as I had used to. But the moms were right, it did get better and easier. Remember Your Blessings Lastly, sometimes we need to look at the big picture and remember what really matters. Do I wish I could stay at home with my son? Abso-freakin-lutely!!! However, my dread is something someone else is praying for. Someone out there is praying for a job to return to, someone else is praying for a baby of their own even if they can't be a stay at home parent, having a baby with a relatively small health issue that doesn't require multiple surgeries and time in the hospital. I have so many blessings and keeping that in mind helps make me remember the big picture. My Final Thoughts I know you are about to embark on a new stage in life mama, it might not be okay right away. But as all of those other mamas promised me, it will get better, your days off will be even more precious to you. Remember your blessing, someone very little is looking up to you and watching your strength. Be brave mama and take a deep breath. Everything is going to be okay.
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Hey there, I'm Melissa.Just a vintage loving new mama sharing ideas, recipes and ideas for the home. Archives
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